The Constitution of the Banana Republic of President Trump

The Constitution of the Banana Republic of Trump (formerly the United States of America).

All elections will be judged to be rigged unless Trump wins them.

All political opponents of President Trump will be jailed.

Judges must have no foreign ancestry. 

All women will be "Hot." Those deemed less than a "10," but better than a five, must wear a hijab. Those a five or less must wear a jilbab. In which case they'll all look like Muslims and will be deported to Iraq.

Anyone criticizing the President will be sued.

The media will be freed of its liberal bias, if it knows what's good for it.

White people will have an extra vote in every election to compensate them for no longer being a majority. 

All cheap imports will be prohibited from entering the country except for Chinese steel needed for the construction of the next Trump luxury condo or hotel, or Vietnamese clothing for the Trump luxury apparel label.

Mexicans will not be allowed to enter the country to harvest American fruit and vegetable crops. Those are good jobs reserved for real Americans willing to work for subsistence wages.

Anyone criticizing Russian President Putin will be exiled to Russia.

College education will be free at Trump University, with the government paying the tuition.

"Fact Checking" will be a capital offense punishable by 10 years in prison with the "Art of the Deal" as the only reading material.

Presidential press conferences will be open only to Sean Hannity, Roger Ailes, Bill O'Reilly, Ann Coulter, Breitbart News, Russia Today and maybe Matt Drudge.

What Recession?

What recession?  What housing bubble? What unemployment?  If you live virtually anywhere in the United States, or for that matter anywhere on this planet, you wouldn’t be asking such questions. But there is one city in our great land where none of these problems exist. 

In that city the unemployment rate is 5.9%, about half the national average. Employment in fact rose by 84,000 over the past year.  In that city incomes are high and rising.  In that city housing values rose while homeowners in the rest of the nation are struggling with foreclosures. This city’s largest employer increased its labor force by nearly 20,000 since the start of the Great Recession in the fall of 2008.

I recently toured a $3.5 million townhouse for sale in this city.  I asked the agent whether that was a steep price in a depressed housing market. The agent assured me that “this” city wasn’t a depressed market, and that the selling price would be pretty close to the asking price.  Construction in this city is booming.  New office buildings and condos are rising like mushrooms along the city’s skyline. 

Where is the marvelous city?  Where, during what is an international economic catastrophe, is the economy booming? Where is it that stories of economic dislocation and joblessness come from the headlines of out-of-town newspapers?

This city of miracles, joy and happiness is our nation’s capital, Washington D.C.  Yes, the primary industry in this city is not only recession-proof, but it prospers and grows during bad times.  Unfortunately, it’s growing on the pain of the rest of the nation. It’s growing on the tax dollars of the people in the “fly-over states,” in “rust belt,” and in “the New South.”  It’s growing because of the Great Recession and it’s growing despite the Great Recession. It’s growing like cancer cells grow, by stealing resources from neighboring cells. Unless checked, the cancer thrives and the body dies. Cancer cells do not make a body healthy.  A strong, vibrant, thriving Washington D.C. is not a good sign.

What Does AARP Stand For?

If you're over 50 you've already heard from the folks at the AARP. If you think you know who or what the AARP is, or what AARP stands for, you're probably mistaken. Today, rather than representing the interests of retired Americans, AARP represents what can only be called a political agenda.

Last year, when the AARP campaigned in support of healthcare reform legislation that many believed threatened Medicare benefits, people began to ask who does AARP represent, and what exactly does AARP stand for, both the letters in its name and the organization itself.

AARP once did "stand for" something. In fact two things. The letters stood for American Association of Retired Persons, and the organization stood for, in support of, the interests of retired people. Or is it persons?

But today many people don't retire at 65, if they actually still have jobs to go to, and the AARP sends membership applications to anyone who turns 50. If the AARP continues to lower the age for membership, the bar to entry will be so low that toddlers will be able to get over it and become members.

So in 1998, with the name no longer reflecting the demographics of its members, it was changed to just a set of letters. Today, the organization itself no longer reflects the interests of what it claims are its 40 million members.

But are these really "members?" They don't show up for meetings or make policy decisions. They don't actually elect delegates to represent them. It's probably even less representative and democratic than any business corporation. Those 40 million "members" are members only because they pay a nominal annual fee of $16, which gets them what they really want...discounts on everything from hotel rooms to health insurance and prescription drugs.

For $16 you become a member of AARP in the same sense that you become an American Express member for $150.  The difference is that American Express doesn't go to Washington claiming to speak for the interests of its 48 million "members."  Something that AARP does. But who appointed AARP to speak for 40 million Americans?  How could they? That's more than 10 percent of the nation's population.  Only the president of the United States can claim such a large constituency.

It's time for AARP to get honest. It does not represent the interests of seniors, retired people, or even people over 50. It's a marketing organization that licenses its name to hawkers of products and services to those people. It then leverages its market clout to promote a political agenda that is often at odds with the true interests of the people it disingenuously claims to represent.  That might require another name change, although it would be hard to spell out in a handful of letters.

The TSA solves Thanksgiving Travel Crunch

With record crowds now forming at airport security check points, the TSA, the Transportation Security Administration, has proposed changes to America's most travelled holiday, Thanksgiving.


The TSA has proposed that starting in 2012, Thanksgiving will no longer be on the last Thursday of November. At least not for everyone.  If you live east of the Mississippi, or are visiting someone east of Mississippi, your annual turkey feast will take place of the last Friday of the month.  If you're going to enjoy your turkey west of the big muddy you can do so on the traditional last Thursday.


TSA Administrator John Pistole said the change will ease travel and security bottlenecks across the country and make every American traveling to see family and friends safer and more secure.  Pistole explained that an earlier proposal called for the Thanksgiving celebration to be split according to the results of the last Congressional elections, with Red states celebrating on the last Friday of the month, while Blue staters could stick to the traditional holiday.  The TSA realized, however, that this might cause family schisms if everyone in family was not politically aligned.


"We want everyone to be able to enjoy this quintessential American holiday with the utmost comfort and ease," stated Pistole, "while at the same time being safe and secure from terrorist threat."