The TSA solves Thanksgiving Travel Crunch

With record crowds now forming at airport security check points, the TSA, the Transportation Security Administration, has proposed changes to America's most travelled holiday, Thanksgiving.


The TSA has proposed that starting in 2012, Thanksgiving will no longer be on the last Thursday of November. At least not for everyone.  If you live east of the Mississippi, or are visiting someone east of Mississippi, your annual turkey feast will take place of the last Friday of the month.  If you're going to enjoy your turkey west of the big muddy you can do so on the traditional last Thursday.


TSA Administrator John Pistole said the change will ease travel and security bottlenecks across the country and make every American traveling to see family and friends safer and more secure.  Pistole explained that an earlier proposal called for the Thanksgiving celebration to be split according to the results of the last Congressional elections, with Red states celebrating on the last Friday of the month, while Blue staters could stick to the traditional holiday.  The TSA realized, however, that this might cause family schisms if everyone in family was not politically aligned.


"We want everyone to be able to enjoy this quintessential American holiday with the utmost comfort and ease," stated Pistole, "while at the same time being safe and secure from terrorist threat."